(Repost from the Hitman Observer Newsletter)
So, during the Summer Steam Sale, a game appeared in my games list that I
had never seen before. It was a Nancy Drew game. I know for a fact, I
never bought a Nancy Drew game. Why would I? I'm pretty sure those
are for girls. I think they may have come with a bundle that I bought.
I don't know. What I do know is that my experiences playing this game
must be recorded. Where better to record these experiences that the
return of the Hitman Observer Newsletter?
Okay. The menu is a stack of books. Clever!
My first decision is whether or not I'm a Junior or Senior Detective or
to take the tutorial. I chose Senior Detective, because I'm a real man
(playing a girls game)!
Nancy Drew sounds like she's in hew thirties. I always thought she was akid.
Oh man. Someone stole a horse from a carousel? The carousel spins by itself? Creepy!
The first thing I did was look around the hotel room they placed me in.
Laptop! There's something called Flag Game on the laptop. I must play
it. It's basically Bejeweled with Nautical Flags. I spent 20 minutes
beating the game twice before moving on.
The laptop also has Things to Do and a Journal with both actually seem like they'll be helpful on my quest.
Also there's email. Apparently I've signed up for Sassy Detective
Online. I'm hoping that that Board is the female equivalent to the one
I'm used to, because I'm so there if it is.
Just noticed I have a cell phone. After the pre-requisite attempt at
calling 1-900-HOTSLUT, I checked the directory and saw I have the Hardy
Boys number! Unfortunately it's Frank and Joe not Matt and Jeff. Okay,
they offer me some advice that I really wasn't listening to so now I
guess that it's time to actually play the game.
Apparently I'm supposed to call the woman who wanted me to solve the
mystery. She pretty much rehashes what I've already been told, so I'm
going to head to the Amusement park.
Lot's of talking! First I talked to the security guard, who let me into
the place and gave me a ride and games card! Sweet! After like five
minutes of talking, I got to see a security tape of the Haunted
Carousel! Spooky!
Then I had to go talk to the accountant. She was whiny and boring. I
looked around her office, being the great detective that I am of course,
and I found a note! Apparently somebody tried to sell one of the
horses from the carousel. SUSPICIOUS!
I've had enough detective work for one day! I'm going to the midway to
play some games. The first game was a swimmer's game that was a lot
like tht parking game on my phone. I won a token for beating three
levels! Next was squid toss. This was a frustrating squid tossing game
and now I'm out of fun credits. I guess that means I'm done with the
game.
Well, that was an hour of fun.
I'm sure in the coming months I will play again. We shall see. If I do, I will certainly be reporting my meandering through the game.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Rainy Saturday? Gonna play Pac-Man!
After 8 consecutive days of driving a train (making Train Simulator 2012 my 2nd most played game ever on Steam) I've decided to take a little break from that and do something different today.
Even though it's summer and I'd much rather be outside swimming, it is raining, so I guess I am stuck inside. Alone. With my computer. Now, instead of wanking, I've decided to play one of my favorite games, Pac-Man...but not just any Pac-Man. I want to see how many Pac-Mans (Pac-Men?) I can play, including clones, Hacks, sequels, offshoots etc. I'm hoping to do at least eight or nine today, so my descriptions/reviews are going to be short. So here we gooooooooooooo...
#1: Puckman
The one that started it all. That's right, Pac-Man was originally Puckman (or Puck Man) when it was released in Japan. Rumor has it that they ended up changing the name because they were afraid that us silly Americans would scratch out part of the P to make it say Fuckman...pretty smart thinking, actually, if that is the case. It pretty much plays exactly like the original Pac-man (that's next just to confirm this). It feels somewhat slow to me, but this is probably because most of my Pac-man and Ms. Pac-man playing has been on Anniversary machines that have the speed hack on (I love that, I'll have to do that later.) I was always decent at Pac-man, always able to at least get an extra life (10,000 points).
#2: Pac-Man - Arcade (1980)
As expected, the game plays identically to Puckman, as far as I can tell. There may be little AI differences that I wouldn't be able to tell in just playing one game of each. One thing that's becoming abundantly clear, though, is how superior Ms. Pac-Man is, if for no other reason, than the maze changes every few levels.
#3: Pac-Man 25th Anniversary Edition - Arcade (2005)
While this wasn't the first way I'd ever played Pac-Man in the arcade this was definitely the most common. With the "speedup hack" on, it makes the game much more playable in these modern times as it plays much quicker. This maze is getting really boring now. Which means it's time for a hack!
#4: Hangly-Man - Arcade Hack (1981)
Well, I wanted a different maze, and I sure got that, but there were two more unique features to Hangly-Man. First, in the second level, the maze disappears when you get the first power pellet. Secondly, the maze changes in the third level...to no maze at all...it's just an open room with pellets in a formation as if there were a maze. That was the most unique level of all.
#5: Ms. Pac-Man - Arcade (1981)
This is by far my favorite Pac-Man game of them all. Even more than the modern Pac-Man Worlds, etc. First off, the maze changes, so I don't get bored of doing the same maze 10 times in a row. Second of all...look how cute she is! Lara Croft may have bigger boobs, Aeris may be more of a sweetheart, and Jill Valentine may be more of a bad ass, but Ms. Pac-Man is the video game woman for me.
Like Pac-Man, she plays much better with a speedup hack, but Ms. Pac-Man is a little faster even without it. Another gameplay difference is that instead of staying stationary in the middle of the screen, the fruit bounces from one end of the maze to the other. At times this makes it easier, others it makes it harder. I've been well on my way to an excellent score, when suddenly I'm down a couple of lives for trying too hard for a couple pears (2,000 points) or bananas (5,000).
One of my favorite memories of playing Ms. Pac-Man was on a Walt Disney World trip in 2000. The 20th anniversary cabinet had just came out (yes, speedup hack was on) and I was determined to reach 100,000 points. One of my last games, I fell just short. I was so close, that I considered putting a quarter in, since this machine allowed you to continue...I decided that it wouldn't be right. As you can see from the screenshot above, I did eventually hit 100,000, and well beyond just about a year ago, but I'll always remember the dozens of games I played on that Disney World trip, fondly.
6: Pac-Man - Atari 2600 (1981)
This game is shit. Next!
#7: Ms. Pac-Man - Atari 2600 (1982)
While the arcade version of Ms. Pac-Man is my favorite, the Atari 2600 version is probably the one I played the most, especially as a kid. It was far, far superior to whatever the hell the Pac-Man for 2600 was supposed to be. For one, the fruit actually looked like fruit, and while not nearly as graphical or advanced as the arcade version, the game actually plays much closer to its original than Pac-Man. My favorite feature of this version is the ability to play with only one ghost. This allowed me time to come up with strategies for playing the game when I was growing up, and something I will still do once in awhile, just for fun.
#8: Pac-Man - Atari 5200 (1982)
This was a much better effort than the 2600. It actually looks and plays like Pac-Man. The home consoles still weren't up to par with the arcade machines of the day, but it was much much closer with this iteration. The game is hard, as it seems the ghosts are just a tad faster in this version than in others. Not so much that it's unplayable, but enough to make it a challenge to get through the first couple of levels.
#9: Pac-Man - Nintendo Entertainment System
Sticking with the 8-bit systems a little longer, I decided to try out Pac-Man on the NES. I've actually never played either Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man on the NES. The game looks better than the less powerful 8-bit systems could provide, but the arcade version is still superior, and Pac-Man looks huge, in comparison in this one. This game is actually slower than either the 2600 Ms. Pac-Man or the non-hacked arcade versions. It's actually a little depressing.
#10: Ms. Pac-Man - NES
Other than using the Ms. Pac-Man theme and mazes, and being a little faster (but still slower than the arcade version) this game is identical to the Pac-Man NES game.
Well, that will wrap up this play session. It's getting close to dinner time, though there are still many, many iterations of Pac-Man to go. I'm sure I will revisit this again, possibly on another rainy Saturday.
Even though it's summer and I'd much rather be outside swimming, it is raining, so I guess I am stuck inside. Alone. With my computer. Now, instead of wanking, I've decided to play one of my favorite games, Pac-Man...but not just any Pac-Man. I want to see how many Pac-Mans (Pac-Men?) I can play, including clones, Hacks, sequels, offshoots etc. I'm hoping to do at least eight or nine today, so my descriptions/reviews are going to be short. So here we gooooooooooooo...
#1: Puckman
The one that started it all. That's right, Pac-Man was originally Puckman (or Puck Man) when it was released in Japan. Rumor has it that they ended up changing the name because they were afraid that us silly Americans would scratch out part of the P to make it say Fuckman...pretty smart thinking, actually, if that is the case. It pretty much plays exactly like the original Pac-man (that's next just to confirm this). It feels somewhat slow to me, but this is probably because most of my Pac-man and Ms. Pac-man playing has been on Anniversary machines that have the speed hack on (I love that, I'll have to do that later.) I was always decent at Pac-man, always able to at least get an extra life (10,000 points).
#2: Pac-Man - Arcade (1980)
As expected, the game plays identically to Puckman, as far as I can tell. There may be little AI differences that I wouldn't be able to tell in just playing one game of each. One thing that's becoming abundantly clear, though, is how superior Ms. Pac-Man is, if for no other reason, than the maze changes every few levels.
#3: Pac-Man 25th Anniversary Edition - Arcade (2005)
While this wasn't the first way I'd ever played Pac-Man in the arcade this was definitely the most common. With the "speedup hack" on, it makes the game much more playable in these modern times as it plays much quicker. This maze is getting really boring now. Which means it's time for a hack!
#4: Hangly-Man - Arcade Hack (1981)
Well, I wanted a different maze, and I sure got that, but there were two more unique features to Hangly-Man. First, in the second level, the maze disappears when you get the first power pellet. Secondly, the maze changes in the third level...to no maze at all...it's just an open room with pellets in a formation as if there were a maze. That was the most unique level of all.
#5: Ms. Pac-Man - Arcade (1981)
This is by far my favorite Pac-Man game of them all. Even more than the modern Pac-Man Worlds, etc. First off, the maze changes, so I don't get bored of doing the same maze 10 times in a row. Second of all...look how cute she is! Lara Croft may have bigger boobs, Aeris may be more of a sweetheart, and Jill Valentine may be more of a bad ass, but Ms. Pac-Man is the video game woman for me.
Like Pac-Man, she plays much better with a speedup hack, but Ms. Pac-Man is a little faster even without it. Another gameplay difference is that instead of staying stationary in the middle of the screen, the fruit bounces from one end of the maze to the other. At times this makes it easier, others it makes it harder. I've been well on my way to an excellent score, when suddenly I'm down a couple of lives for trying too hard for a couple pears (2,000 points) or bananas (5,000).
One of my favorite memories of playing Ms. Pac-Man was on a Walt Disney World trip in 2000. The 20th anniversary cabinet had just came out (yes, speedup hack was on) and I was determined to reach 100,000 points. One of my last games, I fell just short. I was so close, that I considered putting a quarter in, since this machine allowed you to continue...I decided that it wouldn't be right. As you can see from the screenshot above, I did eventually hit 100,000, and well beyond just about a year ago, but I'll always remember the dozens of games I played on that Disney World trip, fondly.
6: Pac-Man - Atari 2600 (1981)
This game is shit. Next!
 |
| There's actually four ghosts here, but the 3 in the chamber are overlapping each other. |
#7: Ms. Pac-Man - Atari 2600 (1982)
While the arcade version of Ms. Pac-Man is my favorite, the Atari 2600 version is probably the one I played the most, especially as a kid. It was far, far superior to whatever the hell the Pac-Man for 2600 was supposed to be. For one, the fruit actually looked like fruit, and while not nearly as graphical or advanced as the arcade version, the game actually plays much closer to its original than Pac-Man. My favorite feature of this version is the ability to play with only one ghost. This allowed me time to come up with strategies for playing the game when I was growing up, and something I will still do once in awhile, just for fun.
#8: Pac-Man - Atari 5200 (1982)
This was a much better effort than the 2600. It actually looks and plays like Pac-Man. The home consoles still weren't up to par with the arcade machines of the day, but it was much much closer with this iteration. The game is hard, as it seems the ghosts are just a tad faster in this version than in others. Not so much that it's unplayable, but enough to make it a challenge to get through the first couple of levels.
#9: Pac-Man - Nintendo Entertainment System
Sticking with the 8-bit systems a little longer, I decided to try out Pac-Man on the NES. I've actually never played either Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man on the NES. The game looks better than the less powerful 8-bit systems could provide, but the arcade version is still superior, and Pac-Man looks huge, in comparison in this one. This game is actually slower than either the 2600 Ms. Pac-Man or the non-hacked arcade versions. It's actually a little depressing.
#10: Ms. Pac-Man - NES
Other than using the Ms. Pac-Man theme and mazes, and being a little faster (but still slower than the arcade version) this game is identical to the Pac-Man NES game.
Well, that will wrap up this play session. It's getting close to dinner time, though there are still many, many iterations of Pac-Man to go. I'm sure I will revisit this again, possibly on another rainy Saturday.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Driving a Train - Days 2 & 3
Today is my third day in a row playing Train Simulator 2012. I really can't explain why I like this game so much, I just do. Yesterday, I completed my second scenario, and I decided to start today by trying the Expert Controls tutorial.
As it turns out, I used Expert Controls to complete the two scenarios that I've completed already. So I had no trouble with this tutorial. As a matter of fact, I figured out why I was emergency braking on the first real scenario I tried. You see, this alarm was going off, but it went off about 10 seconds before it would brake on me. I thought the alarm was telling me "I'M BRAKING ASSHOLE"...as it turns out, the alarm was for a signal, which I was supposed to acknowledge. How do you do this? You hit the Q key. That's it! So with this knowledge in my pocket, I think it's time I try the original scenario, and see if I can do it without any problems.
Aaaaand I did. The alert started flashing, I hit the Q, and it was smooth sailing from there. I thought I might get bored at the beginning, because the top speed was 45mph at the beginning which was pretty unbearable, but after the first stop, it opened up to 65, and I pushed it to 75, and I was back to shouting CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER.
So there's your report on days 2 & 3, I'm gonna get back to driving my train now. Have a great day!
As it turns out, I used Expert Controls to complete the two scenarios that I've completed already. So I had no trouble with this tutorial. As a matter of fact, I figured out why I was emergency braking on the first real scenario I tried. You see, this alarm was going off, but it went off about 10 seconds before it would brake on me. I thought the alarm was telling me "I'M BRAKING ASSHOLE"...as it turns out, the alarm was for a signal, which I was supposed to acknowledge. How do you do this? You hit the Q key. That's it! So with this knowledge in my pocket, I think it's time I try the original scenario, and see if I can do it without any problems.
Aaaaand I did. The alert started flashing, I hit the Q, and it was smooth sailing from there. I thought I might get bored at the beginning, because the top speed was 45mph at the beginning which was pretty unbearable, but after the first stop, it opened up to 65, and I pushed it to 75, and I was back to shouting CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER.
So there's your report on days 2 & 3, I'm gonna get back to driving my train now. Have a great day!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Train Simulator 2012 Meanderings
My grandpa used to be heavy into collecting and setting up model trains, and, while I was always interested in this, I never had the money or the space to actually follow through on this hobby. Well, for $7.19, I've now got the electronic equivalent to model trains: Train Simulator 2012. Here's some of my thoughts as I first experienced this game.
First off, I decided to try the tutorials. After all, all I know about driving a train came from Captain Kirk (new) and Denzel Washington.
Was very happy to find out there was a Simple Controls control scheme. This will make things a lot easier.
I did great on my first tutorial! I'm gonna skip the second one for now (harder controls) and I'm going to derail a train!
This thing takes awhile to load. That makes me sad...oops, here we go! Going to try to derail a train on a run from New York to Boston.
Couldn't figure out how to get out of the station. There wasn't any instructions about switching tracks in the one tutorial. I'll try one more scenario before I try another tutorial. This one starts in Philly, so hopefully it will be less confusing to get out of.
It is! After a tight turn, I see a long straightaway. i'm gonna see how fast I can get this Acela Express going after that turn! Looks like I've topped out at 100 mph. The scenery and sense of speed is pretty good!
Now that I'm perfectly straight, I'm doing over 120. I just made it through a small turn, but I see a tight one on the horizon with a 50 mph speed limit.
I did it! That was fun! Unfortunately, when I tried to take a screenshot, it just took a picture of the setup menu instead. That sucks. Oh well, maybe I'll learn how to play properly now.
I've decided to just try an easy scenario. Maybe later I can do a tutorial.
I'll try a regular Amtrak train, like the one I've ridden on a dozen times in my life. It has an easy scenario, so hopefully a rookie like me will be able to succeed. Okay, I just stopped, and I don't know why. Now I'm going again. Now I'm stopped again. I have to Google this. This is frustrating. I'm going again, but I'll probably be late. Stopped. Turning this off for google.
Couldn't find anything. Guess I'll just have to try this again, and be more aware of what I'm doing.
This time, I got an alert before it stopped. This sucks. Maybe the game is mad after I derailed a train last time. I can't find anything. I'm going to go cool down (literally, in a pool) then come back and do the other tutorials
UPDATE: After swimming, I turned off "Simple Controls" and tried this scenario with the intermediate ones. The train didn't keep stopping when I did it this way. I felt a strange sense of accomplishment when I finished the 40 minute scenario. Still hundreds more to try...another day. I've had enough driving a train for today. Don't want to end up like that Crockett fella.
First off, I decided to try the tutorials. After all, all I know about driving a train came from Captain Kirk (new) and Denzel Washington.
Was very happy to find out there was a Simple Controls control scheme. This will make things a lot easier.
I did great on my first tutorial! I'm gonna skip the second one for now (harder controls) and I'm going to derail a train!
This thing takes awhile to load. That makes me sad...oops, here we go! Going to try to derail a train on a run from New York to Boston.
Couldn't figure out how to get out of the station. There wasn't any instructions about switching tracks in the one tutorial. I'll try one more scenario before I try another tutorial. This one starts in Philly, so hopefully it will be less confusing to get out of.
It is! After a tight turn, I see a long straightaway. i'm gonna see how fast I can get this Acela Express going after that turn! Looks like I've topped out at 100 mph. The scenery and sense of speed is pretty good!
Now that I'm perfectly straight, I'm doing over 120. I just made it through a small turn, but I see a tight one on the horizon with a 50 mph speed limit.
I did it! That was fun! Unfortunately, when I tried to take a screenshot, it just took a picture of the setup menu instead. That sucks. Oh well, maybe I'll learn how to play properly now.
I've decided to just try an easy scenario. Maybe later I can do a tutorial.
I'll try a regular Amtrak train, like the one I've ridden on a dozen times in my life. It has an easy scenario, so hopefully a rookie like me will be able to succeed. Okay, I just stopped, and I don't know why. Now I'm going again. Now I'm stopped again. I have to Google this. This is frustrating. I'm going again, but I'll probably be late. Stopped. Turning this off for google.
Couldn't find anything. Guess I'll just have to try this again, and be more aware of what I'm doing.
This time, I got an alert before it stopped. This sucks. Maybe the game is mad after I derailed a train last time. I can't find anything. I'm going to go cool down (literally, in a pool) then come back and do the other tutorials
UPDATE: After swimming, I turned off "Simple Controls" and tried this scenario with the intermediate ones. The train didn't keep stopping when I did it this way. I felt a strange sense of accomplishment when I finished the 40 minute scenario. Still hundreds more to try...another day. I've had enough driving a train for today. Don't want to end up like that Crockett fella.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Story Time: Time Lord
I have always loved going to flea markets. Even when I was a little kid and had no use for 95% of the stuff that they sell there (Hell, who am I kidding? I still have no use for 95% of the stuff they sell there!) but I still loved it for one main thing: Cheap Nintendo Games.
Even at a young age, I was smart enough to know two things about buying used Nintendo games.
1) Don't waste a lot of time at sellers that have a lot of games, because their prices are higher, usually. Now that I'm older, I realize that this is because they are resellers, people who buy up everyone else's undervalued games then mark those games up to make a profit. When I was a kid, though, all I knew was that the more games a person had, the higher their prices.
2) Prices are negotiable. My grandpa would often have me offer the sellers less, presumably because might be able to get a better price as a kid.
What does this all have to do with Time Lord? Nothing really. Aside from the fact that I got Time Lord from a Flea Market when I was about 11 or 12 years old. I bought it at a flea market in Buffalo, the day before we left for home. Schenectady. 260 miles from Buffalo. The longest car trip of my entire life, I think. I was so psyched to get home to play this bad boy. I always was, and to a certain extent, still am, to this day, so excited for a new game...no matter how crappy it my be...simply because I'm in store for a new experience.
So awhile after we get home, I popped Time Lord in, and started to play. Immediately I was struck by how hard this game was. I mean, my first few times, I didn't get out of the first level, which was more or less a trial level. Finally, after a lot of struggle, I got to the second level, which takes place in the middle ages. I don't think I got out of the middle ages that first day playing, but I'm pretty sure I got to the next level, the Old West, fairly soon after the game.
I didn't get out of the Old West until I was in high school.
Then I stayed in the next level, pirate level, until I was in college.
I still played this game from time to time, trying to get further and further each time. The thing is, after the first week or so of playing, I didn't even like the game, but it was so difficult I felt like I had to take the challenge and some day beat it.
Some years after I made it to the penultimate level, the front lines in World War II, I finally made it to the final level. I actually relaxed a bit, because I have had this habit in video games, especially for NES and SNES...I very rarely die in the last level of any game. Sometimes I may struggle to get there, but once I do I am untouchable. Unfortunately, my luck lasted until what I assumed (correctly, I might add) was the final boss...and I got destroyed. The boss has 3 phases. I didn't get hit a single time in the first 2. The third one, when all three heads of this dragon swarm around you, is impossible to get through...or so I thought at the time.
I went on another several year hiatus from Time Lord until yesterday. I decided to give it one more go. And you know what? I DID IT. I probably had 1 or 2 more hits to take before I was dead, but I beat that damned three headed brain showing dragon thing.
Time stood still as I waited for the ending. I mean, this game is FUCKING HARD, so that means the ending's gotta be great, right? Maybe a parade of pixelated nude women congratulating me on my near impossible feat?
I got this:
...
...
...
...
Fuck you. Just...fuck...you.
Even at a young age, I was smart enough to know two things about buying used Nintendo games.
1) Don't waste a lot of time at sellers that have a lot of games, because their prices are higher, usually. Now that I'm older, I realize that this is because they are resellers, people who buy up everyone else's undervalued games then mark those games up to make a profit. When I was a kid, though, all I knew was that the more games a person had, the higher their prices.
2) Prices are negotiable. My grandpa would often have me offer the sellers less, presumably because might be able to get a better price as a kid.
What does this all have to do with Time Lord? Nothing really. Aside from the fact that I got Time Lord from a Flea Market when I was about 11 or 12 years old. I bought it at a flea market in Buffalo, the day before we left for home. Schenectady. 260 miles from Buffalo. The longest car trip of my entire life, I think. I was so psyched to get home to play this bad boy. I always was, and to a certain extent, still am, to this day, so excited for a new game...no matter how crappy it my be...simply because I'm in store for a new experience.
So awhile after we get home, I popped Time Lord in, and started to play. Immediately I was struck by how hard this game was. I mean, my first few times, I didn't get out of the first level, which was more or less a trial level. Finally, after a lot of struggle, I got to the second level, which takes place in the middle ages. I don't think I got out of the middle ages that first day playing, but I'm pretty sure I got to the next level, the Old West, fairly soon after the game.
I didn't get out of the Old West until I was in high school.
Then I stayed in the next level, pirate level, until I was in college.
I still played this game from time to time, trying to get further and further each time. The thing is, after the first week or so of playing, I didn't even like the game, but it was so difficult I felt like I had to take the challenge and some day beat it.
Some years after I made it to the penultimate level, the front lines in World War II, I finally made it to the final level. I actually relaxed a bit, because I have had this habit in video games, especially for NES and SNES...I very rarely die in the last level of any game. Sometimes I may struggle to get there, but once I do I am untouchable. Unfortunately, my luck lasted until what I assumed (correctly, I might add) was the final boss...and I got destroyed. The boss has 3 phases. I didn't get hit a single time in the first 2. The third one, when all three heads of this dragon swarm around you, is impossible to get through...or so I thought at the time.
I went on another several year hiatus from Time Lord until yesterday. I decided to give it one more go. And you know what? I DID IT. I probably had 1 or 2 more hits to take before I was dead, but I beat that damned three headed brain showing dragon thing.
Time stood still as I waited for the ending. I mean, this game is FUCKING HARD, so that means the ending's gotta be great, right? Maybe a parade of pixelated nude women congratulating me on my near impossible feat?
I got this:
...
...
...
...
Fuck you. Just...fuck...you.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Still Amazing at Super Mario Bros. 3
After beating Super Mario Bros. 3 for probably the 30th time or so in my life (6th time since I turned 25) I decided that maybe I should say a few things about myself and this game. I mean, it's remained among my five favorites games since it game out in 1990, and it's probably the game I'm the best at. Not, as in, better than everyone, just the game I am better at than any other. I've never seen the Game Over screen (I haven't even checked on youtube, for fear of jinxing this streak), and until reading the Strategy Guide from cover to cover a year or so after I first beat the game, I never knew that the reason gates went down after beating a castle was to make it easier on you if you ever do lose all of your lives.
All of that said, I still feel the need to get to 99 lives in World 1-2, and even then, I will still get every coin I can and every 1up I can, just because I HAVE TO. My second favorite part of Super Mario Advance 4 (the Game Boy Advance version) is the fact that you can get at least 999 lives (I ended up at around 132, or so when I beat it). Now, never mind the fact that I probably lose less than 20 lives in a playthrough, I still feel the need to do this. Like a security blanket or something. It's probably related to this compulsion I have to listen to ABBA's Dancing Queen once a week, or so.
So, last night, I played, for what I believe to be, the first time I've ever played drunk. Now I wasn't completely pished or anything like that, but I was definitely at stage 2 of my 3 stages of drunkeness (thinking about it, there's probably a 4th [unconscious] and 5th [dead] stage, but I should probably try to avoid that, no?). Anywho, I was still amazing at this game. I lost 1 life in the first four worlds, but I peaked in World 8 (probably due to sobering up) where I managed to keep my Raccoon Tail all the way until Koopa's final fireball, and the only reason he hit me was because I was too busy watching him fall to his death.
So the princess is saved, yet again. Hopefully she can keep herself out of trouble...then again, I would mind another go-round with Koopa. Bring it on, bitch!
All of that said, I still feel the need to get to 99 lives in World 1-2, and even then, I will still get every coin I can and every 1up I can, just because I HAVE TO. My second favorite part of Super Mario Advance 4 (the Game Boy Advance version) is the fact that you can get at least 999 lives (I ended up at around 132, or so when I beat it). Now, never mind the fact that I probably lose less than 20 lives in a playthrough, I still feel the need to do this. Like a security blanket or something. It's probably related to this compulsion I have to listen to ABBA's Dancing Queen once a week, or so.
So, last night, I played, for what I believe to be, the first time I've ever played drunk. Now I wasn't completely pished or anything like that, but I was definitely at stage 2 of my 3 stages of drunkeness (thinking about it, there's probably a 4th [unconscious] and 5th [dead] stage, but I should probably try to avoid that, no?). Anywho, I was still amazing at this game. I lost 1 life in the first four worlds, but I peaked in World 8 (probably due to sobering up) where I managed to keep my Raccoon Tail all the way until Koopa's final fireball, and the only reason he hit me was because I was too busy watching him fall to his death.
So the princess is saved, yet again. Hopefully she can keep herself out of trouble...then again, I would mind another go-round with Koopa. Bring it on, bitch!
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